Naked Trees and Other New Christmas Traditions

The holidays inspire a rich tapestry of traditions and family celebrations. The life of a family is an ever-changing and eternal stream. It has no true beginning and no real end. Along its path, we mark important events and meaningful bonds with holiday celebrations and family traditions. Often these traditions have a deeply rooted place in our lives. However, life is more than just the rigid repetition of traditions. They are how we honor those who came before us and teach our children family values.

We hold our traditions sacred because they remind us of who we are and what is important to us. However, it is not blind adherence to these traditions that is of importance. It is the spirit and the memories which gave birth to the traditions that hold true meaning.

For example, ever since my children were little it was their father’s job to put the topper on the tree. Being the tallest, the job naturally fell to him. Since his passing in 2006, the top of our family Christmas tree has been naked. In the beginning, no one wanted to take their father’s job from him.

Likewise, the loss of my older brother several years ago spawned new family traditions. As twins, he and my older sister’s birthday fell on Christmas Eve. This made the holidays especially difficult on my parents and sister. As such, the decorations that had adorned my parents’ Christmas tree for years became a painful reminder of his absence. Now, instead of traditional decorations and Christmas fare, my parents’ home boasts seasonally themed trimmings. One year it was snowmen, another year snowflakes. I look forward to hearing what Mom’s chosen theme is each year. It truly warms my heart to see her once again find joy in the season.

Tragedy is not the only thing that has shaped new traditions in our family. Like any other, our family has evolved; adding new members with their own traditions and memories. Children have grown and moved away. Grandchildren have been born. Finding ways to incorporate these changes has spawned a myriad of new traditions and celebrations with little nods to family histories and past Christmases. It is how we honor and celebrate who we are.

Creating new traditions can be as simple as a new dish for Christmas dinner or as complex as starting over from scratch. Traditions symbolize what is important and how a family identifies itself. In our case, Christmas traditions have come to mean adapting, honoring, and celebrating all that we enjoy about the holidays and none of what we don’t. In fact, if I had to name our biggest, most important Christmas tradition it would be celebrating Christmas however we feel like it each year. Given how many families are struggling this Christmas season, some of our family’s favorite new traditions may help inspire new traditions for your family.

The Children-Only Tradition: Our family has grown from five to well over 20 in the last 22 years. To simplify gift buying and keep costs reasonable, we only buy presents for the children. Once you move out, get married, or otherwise become a grown up, you’re off the gift list. We value a child’s joy far more than a new knick-knack.

The No-Stress Tradition: If it causes stress, creates unnecessary work, or otherwise inhibits your ability to enjoy the season? It’s not allowed. If that means Christmas dinner on paper plates in your sweats, so be it. If that means TV dinners and pre-decorated trees, that’s okay too. The name of the game is whatever works for you without causing grief and gray hairs.

The Be-Creative Tradition: Thoughtfulness, frugality, and usefulness are keys to this tradition. Last year, my youngest son gave one set of grandparents a load of firewood he cut and split himself to keep their toes toasty through the winter. For the other grandparents: an I.O.U. for a weekend of free grandson labor to plant flowers, rake leaves, or any other help they needed come spring. He thought about what was needed, what would be useful, and crafted appropriately creative present ideas.

The point to any new Christmas tradition should be to celebrate who you are as a family and honor what is important to you. In our family, that means enjoying the season for what it is; a time to celebrate all we hold dear and enrich the lives of those we love. In that spirit, what new traditions will your family create this Christmas?